The plot is a little unclear, but it's basically a vehicle for little vignettes on famous people. Apparently, being in Hell involves not being able to get your phone messages consistently.

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Well, this one has me asking: who actually gets into heaven? Maybe one of the key factors, to judge from this conception of it, is that you can't be a celebrity... it seems that most of the people in this "all-star" cast who ended up in the recesses of the abyss were at least some type of media personality - even newscasters qualify, apparently, to judge from the exploits of the main character, but may other famous people are there too, including some you wouldn't immediately suspect, including authors, playwrights, movie stars, religious leaders like Catholic popes and Martin Luther, royals... you get the idea.

This odd story, which is somewhat reminiscent of one of Kurt Vonnegut's farcical novels (but nowhere as good, honestly), tells the story of a former newscaster who finds himself in hell. Like most people, he can't really figure out what he did to get there, but he knows that he's in bad company: all the aforementioned apparent degenerates are with him, and infinitely more. Hell's main city - and, of course, it IS a city - is a crowded place. Maybe Hell's Kitchen isn't too far off. And, it seems, that it's Hatcher's job to interview the rich and famous: Bill Clinton, Dick Nixon, and even Satan himself - to ask them why they think they're there. It turns out, but perhaps not surprisingly, Satan has some serious daddy issues.

At any rate, it seems that some perverted type of relationship with other people is also sort of possible. Hatcher, for instance, has for some reason taken up with Anne Boleyn, who has an imposable head she can remove and set on the dining table of their apartment (wonder what those are like in hell... New York rear tenement buildings, perchance?), although she still remains obsessed with her former husband (the second one), Henry - who had her killed - so, of course, he's in hell, too.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Hatcher meets up with a mysterious stranger, who takes him to another apartment in the city where he meets none other than Humphrey Bogart, whose philandering ways have apparently landed him a cushy gig near the not-so-proverbial lake of fire. At first, it seems to Hatcher that Bogey and a co-star of some kind are performing a scene from a movie... until it's revealed that the "dame" they're meeting with is none other than Beatrice Portinari, Dante's former "flame," as it were. And, the person who led Hatcher there turns out to be none other than Vergil, who, it seems, has also at last landed himself a permanent position in the infernal realm. Few, apparently, know exactly how they ended up in Hell... but Beatrice has an idea.

It seems that Dante's Inferno was based somewhat on reality, in that Dante really DID descend into hell, and escape again (only to, himself, land there permanently). But, the point is: he at one point did escape the confines of the abyss, and Beatrice is determined to find out how to escape. As such, she dispatches Bogey and Hatcher to find out if there really is a trap door to Hades.

No spoilers, but it appears that we all choose our own hell, even if given an alternative. Because, as said Sartre, who according to this curious novel would have it is also probably in hell, in his 1944 play, here appropriately titled "No Exit," Hell is Other People. Or with other people. Or because of other people. Or something like that.

This is described as an experimental novel, whatever that means these days, which usually ends up being pretty mediocre at best. This one is at least fair, although it does assume a fair bit of knowledge about historical figures, so I think it was intended for a more intellectual crowd than normal. That said, it wasn't as interesting as I had hoped, as there is a lot of "name-dropping" but not a lot of substance about the individuals mentioned.

I would definitely like to know more about what the author's conception of hell would be for all the people he thinks are there: the popes, celebrities, royals, even journalists, which would make it fun and creative, but it really wasn't. There were a few select ones, such as Bill Clinton's admission that he did it for power, and Satan because of his daddy issues, but I was hoping for a lot more. We remain in the dark about why MOST people are in hell, other than perhaps they ultimately choose to be there, in good company with everyone else.

I read it in sessions over several days, as my mind started to wander after about a half-hour. The plot, because it jumps around in time so much - perhaps hell does, too, who knows? lags quite a lot, and not much happens for large sections of the book. It's one of those, as I've said before, talks a lot but doesn't say much. It's fair for a bit of light reading, as long as you don't expect too much. That said, not sure it was worth the time, as there are so many other books I would like to read. If you have plenty of time to read, I suppose it's decent, but there are a lot of superior ones out there.

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