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The Eclectic Pen - Creative Writing Exercise

By: Brian F.  
Date Submitted: 1/28/2010
Last Updated: 1/28/2010
Genre: Literature & Fiction » Short Stories & Anthologies
Words: 878

  This was an assignment for my creative writing class, which was to write a short story, in the first person, using only I, my, or me twice in the entire story. The word limit is around 600 words (erm... I think mine hits around 823, which will be fine with the teacher).
So without further ado...

The stench of scorched flesh hung in the air, like a fog that one couldn’t avoid. It tainted everything from the flowers that were blooming on this early spring morning, to the birds that flew overhead. Everything, and everyone for that matter, was unaware of the danger that lay just over the horizon, and that, was sad reader. Even for someone as cold and heartless as I.

The scene was quiet and relaxing, aside from its impending, chaotic demise that was at hand. A family of rabbits was just coming out of their homes, awakening to fresh morning dew on the grass, which was probably as refreshing as a morning shower one might take. The youngest of the family (there were four), nuzzled his nose into a nearby dandelion, probably sizing it up for the first of meal of the day. The parents watched on proud to see their child preparing his own meal, seeking out the freshest flower. It was heart-warming.

The other small one, a female, caught sight of a passing butterfly, who had been hopping from flower to flower, already starting in on what would be a hard day at work. Pollination always is, you know. She hopped after the butterfly, chasing behind it, as if begging for a companion to go exploring with. The ends of her paws, scattering the dew on the fresh morning grass, like a shower of tiny sprinkles with every hop, creating a small glimpse of rainbows for any onlooker to behold. Like the fox, waiting behind the bushes just at the edge of the wood.

Now, the fox had woken up with a ravenous hunger this morning, or so it seemed at least. He licked his lips with excitement as an easy prey hopped closer and closer to him. He knew, that rabbit was breaking a must follow rule with animals as small as rabbits, stay with the group. It would be her own fault that he ate her, and hey, it was the circle of life anyways.

She grew tired of chasing after the butterfly, deciding that it was far too hard working to take five minutes to play with her. Feeling breathless from the chase she lay on her side, and rolled in the cool morning dew. Relishing the droplets as they clung to her neatly groomed fur, as she rolled from one side to the other, she caught an orange blur moving towards her. She stood up, looking for the rest of her family, realizing that she had romped to the other side of the field; and then she saw him, the fox.

That was all she saw, since the fox then proceeded to pick her up and sink his teeth into her neck, ending what was a very short-lived life. He stared down the rabbits on the other end of the field, daring them to try and take his meal. But he didn’t need to worry, they scattered back into the wood, probably back to their homes. They knew that there was nothing that could be done to save her now.

This was the balance of nature anyways, life and death. Moments like this are meant to happen; they bring a sense of balance to the world. This was the magic of nature, and surely a creation of God.

The fox settled in on his breakfast, happy to have a full stomach for the morning, oblivious to the world around him. He was safe from death for the moment anyways, seeing as the other critters would be after better game than him. In fact, he was so absorbed in his breakfast, that it took him seconds to hear a loud piercing whistle that flew overhead. When it finally did catch his attention, he looked around, dropping the bits of rabbit flesh from his mouth. He turned to scramble back into the shrouded wood, now very afraid of what had appeared to be a peaceful clearing for breakfast. But it was far too late for this reader.

It was far too late for them all. The rabbits. The fox. The butterfly. And especially the people in the nearby city. Yes they were at ground zero, so they were all gone within seconds. Taken from the natural balance and order, by man. There was a flash of smoke and fire, light and a heavy smog. And then the dust began to clear. Slowly at first, but the after draft of wind blew it away quick enough. There was nothing. No forest to behold, no rabbits frolicking in the morning dew. No fox happily chomping his morning prey. Just death, and the heavy scent of it. It was there before, and it was all that had survived. Not even the after draft of the bomb could clear that away. The air was thick with sorrow, and the skies began to pelt the ground with their tear drops. From the clouds above, I wept.

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Brian F.

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Comments 1 to 5 of 5
Susan W. (suskaw123) - 1/29/2010 10:09 AM ET
I enjoyed your story...lots of emotions went through me as I read it. Hope you got an A
Tally R. - 2/3/2010 10:11 PM ET
This really captures everything that's going on. I love how the entire story revolves around several main points. Great job!
Pat B. (patrizia72) - , - 2/5/2010 1:35 PM ET
Hi Brian, Quite an accomplishment. Thanks for sharing Patgwrite
Al C. (vavoice) - - 2/16/2010 5:23 PM ET
An Interesting offering. So, what grade did you receive for this apocalyptic tale of collateral carnage resulting from the human penchant for waging war?
Mary N. (moondarlin) - 3/6/2010 8:44 AM ET
I liked this story but the sentences are hard for me to read as there are way too many commas. but all in all it was a good read.
Comments 1 to 5 of 5